An Encounter With Christ: Sarah Floyd
June 12, 2020
“I didn't dare to dream of a better life for fear of more disappointments…”
As a little girl growing up in New Orleans, I knew without a doubt that God in heaven loved me. Sadly, I would come to forget this truth as time went on.
I went from living in a typical family to a dysfunctional mess in the first 11 years of my life.My sister had wanted me to be a boy, and was cruel to me from my earliest memories of her. I often felt worthless, and my parents (who later divorced),were either too busy or tired to care. At 5 years old I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Ritalin. I saw myself as the problem child and a cause of heartache for my family.
Instead of calming me, the drugs caused me to lose all focus and control. I believe they awoke my appetite for experiencing a “high.” Later on, I was introduced to raves and street drugs, and fell in love with the party lifestyle.
My mom suffered from strokes and passed away when I was 18 – after this, I became a full-blown addict. I lost custody of my first son at 9½ months old and spent the rest my 20's in a haze of alcohol, drugs, jails and mental hospitals. I tried AA, NA, CA and rehabs but couldn't stay clean for more than 3 months. I got delirium tremens (shakes, confusion and hallucinations) if I went more than 20 minutes without a drink.
I gave up on God, I gave up on everything … I didn't dare to dream of a better life for fear of more disappointments.
At 30 years old I received the final payout from my mother's estate and moved to California. I partied and lived in motels, but had failed to consider how expensive California was. I was robbed by a gang for my last $10,000 and was busted for dealing drugs out my hotel room. By early 2013, I was broke.
I pled guilty to a felony conviction, and after time in jail, I became involved in a destructive relationship for 5 years. Together we did massive amounts of meth and I experienced traumatizing abuse. During that time, I thought about, plotted, and even attempted to commit suicide – I had never known such darkness. I discovered I was pregnant again, and for the first time in years I had a hope for the future. Yet I quickly realized that although I was going to have a baby, I still did not have a family.
John Albert was born on April 25, 2018 and taken by Department of Children & Family Services on April 27. I praise God for DCFS and what followed. I prayed to get my baby back, and promised God I would follow Him forever! But God told me to follow Him FIRST … and I obeyed.
I went to detox where I rededicated my life to Christ, and left for a rehab program the day after Mother's Day. I had been in that program for 2 weeks when I heard NorthEast of the Well had invited us to a worship service. I went, and felt God's Spirit move through me for the first time in over 20 years. I heard the testimonies of people who couldn't get it together in secular recovery but found strength in Jesus Christ. We sang"Reckless Love" and I heard a voice in my heart tell me that if I were to keep my eyes on Jesus, I would have my son in my arms again.
That was the beginning of the end for me. A dramatic change took place in my heart over the next few months! I went from lost and rejected in a pit alone to accepted by God and found in Christ. He gave me peace in my adversity, love for those around me, and met my needs with abundance.
This is me today:I have sole custody of my son, and I am certain that God's promises will hold true for anyone who believes. I sing “Amazing Grace” to John Albert every night. I’m about to graduate another 1 year program where I have truly begun anew life. I’m in college and working towards my associate’s degree in sociology.I want to show other people who are lost,scared, and alone how they can overcome with Christ! I’m not waiting until I graduate to spread the Good News: I have opportunities now to show love to those who are hurting and guide those who are lost.
The scripture that keeps me going today is this: "I am confident that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6